8 Ways to Catch a Cheating Spouse in Singapore
Have you noticed your spouse acting suspiciously recently? While you may jump to the conclusion that he or she may be cheating on you, stay calm and do not act rashly. Confronting your spouse on impulse may lead to a fierce denial and a breakdown of your relationship as emotions run high.
In another scenario, even if you have correctly guessed that your spouse is being unfaithful, he/she may attempt to persuade you that you are imagining things when you confront him/her on the spur of the moment. He/she would then be more careful in the future, which would make it more difficult for you to uncover the truth.
Instead, you should monitor the situation and collect evidence of any infidelity. This is because if you wish to file for divorce on the ground of adultery, you must be able to provide irrefutable evidence that your spouse has been having an illicit affair. Do not be afraid of the truth, for it will help you to make an informed decision moving forward. The next step is not always divorce, because if the marriage is worth salvaging, you may want to consider doing so.
When looking for evidence of your spouse’s possible affair, do ensure that you adopt only legal methods of surveillance as you may otherwise risk being countersued by your spouse for spying on him/her illegally, or have a police report lodged against you. Any evidence that you obtain through illegal means may also not be admissible in court.
Here are 8 ways to legally catch a cheating spouse in Singapore:
1) Install Hidden Cameras at Home
Installing hidden cameras at home has been proven to be one of the most effective methods to catch a cheating spouse in the act, as they may bring someone home while you are not around.
Nowadays, it is possible for cameras to be installed in common household items, such as clocks, photo frames and even air fresheners, making them hard to detect. All you will need is a smartphone and a spy camera app to view and record the footage.
You are free to install hidden cameras within your own home, so long as you are careful not to record common areas (e.g. HDB corridors) or your neighbours’ movements.
2) Go Through Your Spouse’s Belongings
You may also attempt to go through your spouse’s belongings in his/her absence for evidence of his/her possible affair. Look out for items such as receipts, unfamiliar gifts and spare phones that are in use. These may offer clues about your spouse’s daily activities, which may be incriminating.
You should also check the rubbish bin, in case your spouse decides to cover his/her tracks by throwing away the evidence. Remember to be discreet and replace the items where you found them.
While going through your spouse’s belongings may be an invasion of privacy, there is currently no law in Singapore that prevents you from doing so.
3) Check What’s in the Computer
If you and your spouse share a computer, or where your spouse has previously given you the password to his/her computer, you may try going through his/her stored files for any evidence of a possible affair. These may include intimate pictures or conversations. Look through your spouse’s photos, notes or emails on the computer.
You may also check the computer’s recycle bin for any incriminating files that they may have forgotten to delete permanently from their computer.
However, even if your spouse has deleted files from his/her computer permanently, these files could still exist somewhere else. If your spouse is hiding pictures that are incriminating of his/her infidelity, these pictures may also be in his/her cloud storage, such as iCloud or Google Drive.
If there is anything telling of your spouse’s affair, take photos to save the evidence.
In the event that you do not have access to your spouse’s computer, do not attempt to hack into it or guess the password, as you may be countersued by your spouse or have a police report lodged against you.
4) Check What’s in Your Spouse’s Mobile Phone
Your spouse’s phone will undoubtedly contain a wealth of information, from which you will be able to understand his/her habits and movements. If you have access to your spouse’s phone, you should check his/her personal communication. This includes his/her call logs, messages, emails and social media inboxes.
Your spouse may not be careful enough to clear all the evidence regularly, especially if he/she is having a continuous affair. Regular checks should be able to provide you with an idea of what is going on.
It is also possible that cheating spouses may save their partner’s contact number in the name of colleagues, business associates or even distant relatives. Watch out for parties who keep calling or texting your spouse throughout the day. Do remember to take photos of the evidence in your spouse’s phone.
Once again, if you do not have access to your spouse’s phone, do not attempt to hack into it to avoid legal liability.
5) Check Bank Statements
Bank or credit card statements may also provide hints on your spouse’s possible affair. However, it is likely that you are able to check your spouse’s expenditure only if you share a joint account with him/her.
Look out for any increased expenditure, or transactions you do not recognise, on items such as jewellery, hotel stays, or restaurant meals. That said, your spouse might not have put such expenditure on his/her credit card if it’s linked to a joint account that you also have access to.
Hence, alternatively, you may check the frequency of cash withdrawals and the amount withdrawn each time. Your spouse might have resorted to withdrawing cash for his/her expenditure instead.
6) Track Your Spouse’s Movements
If your spouse is driving, you may consider installing a GPS in the car. The GPS will report the vehicle’s location throughout the day, which you can also view through a smartphone app. Watch out for red flags, such as where your spouse is not at a location he/she claims to be at.
However, do take note that you have the legal right to place a GPS in the car only provided that the said car is owned or partly owned by you.
7) Keep a Journal
You may wish to keep a journal detailing all the evidence you have collected using the methods mentioned above. Our memories are not perfect in the first place, and when emotions are involved, they tend to be less reliable. A journal will help you keep track of all the facts. You may also try asking your spouse occasionally about:
- How his/her day was
- Where he/she has gone
- What his/her plans are
It will be helpful to note your spouse’s response down in your journal. Remember to be discreet and avoid asking your spouse the same questions too often, for he/she may start to suspect that you are on his/her tail.
Look out for any inconsistencies in your spouse’s stories. For example, if your spouse claims to be at the office but the GPS shows that he/she is at a hotel, it is highly likely that he/she is hiding something from you.
8) Engage a Private Investigator
Lastly, you may consider hiring a licensed private investigator (PI) in Singapore who is trained in collecting evidence to follow your spouse around. Do not attempt to follow your spouse as you risk being discovered. An unexpected showdown is surely unlikely to go well as all parties present will undoubtedly be flustered and upset. It is best that you leave this to a trained professional.
A licensed PI will be able to provide you with information on your spouse’s relationships with others, such as who the other party is, where they go, as well as for how long and how often they are together. You will be able to acquire concrete evidence in the form of reports, video recordings and photos, which will be important should you choose to file for divorce.
To reiterate, you need to ensure that you are collecting evidence of your spouse’s possible affair only through legal means, and that you be careful when doing so. Compile all evidence and make sure that you have sufficient evidence to substantiate your claims before confronting your spouse.
For you to suspect your spouse of infidelity may already be an indication that you are both not on very good terms with each other. If it turns out that your spouse had been faithful to you all along, he/she may instead find out that you have invaded his/her privacy and spied on him/her. This may cause your relationship to deteriorate further.
Should you require a PI to collect evidence, you may contact our partner private investigator for more information. Our partner PI is licensed by the Police Licensing & Regulatory Department of Singapore and has also won numerous accolades. Their private investigators have been trained to handle infidelity cases with the utmost discretion and have a wealth of experience. Rest assured that your case will be in safe hands.
Once you have decided to confront your spouse, it may be extremely hard, but try to remain calm when doing so. Focus on the facts and do not let your emotions control you.
If your spouse is indeed cheating on you, you will end up at a crossroads. While you may be feeling betrayed, distressed and livid, it is worth considering if your marriage can still be salvaged. If both you and your spouse are willing to commit to the healing process, your relationship may be stronger than ever, but there must first be honesty and transparency between the both of you. You may wish to seek help from a marriage counsellor to help both you and your spouse overcome this hurdle in your relationship.
If you decide to file for divorce instead, it is recommended that you approach a divorce lawyer in Singapore for assistance.
While it is possible to file for a divorce without engaging a lawyer, you will still be subject to legal, procedural and formal requirements for conducting court proceedings. Not only will a divorce lawyer assist you with these matters, he/she will also handle issues such as the division of matrimonial assets, maintenance as well as custody and care and control of any children you may have. A divorce lawyer will help to ensure that your rights are not compromised.